Mr. Magic's Specious Thesis

Karma as explained by the philosophers of Body Head Bangerz

I was in the gym yesterday when Body Head Bangerz' "Can't Be Touched" came on:

I'm pimping my hoes
I'm jacking my foes
I spit at the police and duck my P.O.'s

I ain't going to court
You can call a judge
Tell him kiss my ass
'Cause I ain't gonna budge
And I ain't going back to lock-up
You trying to lock a pop up
I ain't going back to broke

And I'm never gonna stop the puffing
Not for nothing
The block they need me
The streets they need me
The club scene, nigga
Is mine believe me

"Wow," thinks I, "This individual is making some excellent life choices."

It's usually better for everyone not to examine gym music too closely. But in my defense, I was feeling kittenish while meandering my way back to reality from bench press-induced presyncope.

Let's examine our plucky protagonist's origin story, with Rap-ese -> English translation mode activated. He:

• Pimps women

• Is violent towards his enemies

• Has been to jail ("lock-up")

• Does marijuana ("puffing")

He also has some clearly-stated desires:

• Not to go back to jail again

• Not to be broke again

And given these stated desires, his chosen course of action is to:

• Spit at the police

• Dodge his parole officers ("P.O.s")

• Skip court appearances

• Recommend a judge to canoodle his posterior

Sage choices, my friend.

Not a great gardener

No! What! Who even thinks like this?

The reassuring answer: basically all us funny monkey-looking things.

It's a tempting trap. "My problems are the world's fault,” we think. “My only issue is that I haven't given enough middle finger."

Yet, I've recently awakened to karma being real.

Not because of Moral Accountant Buddha in the sky, tallying on one side every time I give money to a homeless person… and on the other side each time I treat my neighbors to a free performance of "My Heart Will Go On" in the shower.

But rather, as a physical property of the universe (though maybe Moral Accountant Buddha exists too).

He's having too much fun

Imagine if every time you come home you bring in flowers, or a beautiful piece of art. In a few weeks.. wow, so hygge. You'll feel good by virtue of surrounding yourself with nice things.

But now suppose you District 9'd your toilet, and every rumbling in your tummy had you projectile defecating straight on the floor. Yep, just right there... all over the carpet, and ottoman, and... was that your cat? "How weird," says you, "I'm slipping and covered in shit all the time."

Some shit, Sherlock.

Our actions in life have consequences. The energy we put out into the world gets absorbed by our surroundings and reflected back at us. We interact in the same places, with the same people, with the same cat that's now rolling all over the bed.

So if you want a more positive result, make a more positive choice. If you'd like not to go back to lock-up, you might want to reconsider telling the judge to kiss your ass.

Or at least say, "please".

Curious how you're getting in your own way? Learn more about negative leverage here.